Song Chuzhao was a little dazed by Gu Fengjian’s embrace. She placed her hand on his waist and pushed, but he didn’t let go, only loosening his grip slightly.
Gu Fengjian said, “Whether you don’t want me to know or you want to pretend to be nonchalant, I can’t help but notice your sadness. You don’t want me to see, and I don’t want to leave you alone, so let me comfort you.”
Song Chuzhao felt a warmth spread through her heart. She said, “Actually, I’m not that sad. I’m just… a little confused.”
Gu Fengjian asked with a smile, “Do you want me to pretend I didn’t see you wiping away tears just now?”
Song Chuzhao: “…” Can’t we just not talk about this? You can’t be a friend like this.
Gu Fengjian: “But, I won’t tell you not to be sad.”
Song Chuzhao: “Why?“carpreads.pages.dev
“Because in this life, no one can live without worries.” Gu Fengjian said, “Worries mean you care. You have things you care about, so you feel worried.”
Song Chuzhao thought about his words and said, “That makes sense.”
After a moment, Song Chuzhao said, “Let go of me. I want you to sit with me.”
Gu Fengjian took a step back, propped the umbrella against something nearby, and without minding the dirt, sat down on the stone beside her.
Song Chuzhao picked up a handful of leaves from the ground and squeezed them in her hand.
“Look, some leaves are already brittle, while others are still tender. Some have already rotted, while others are still intact.” She looked up and said, “Even though they all grew from the same tree, each leaf is still different.”
Gu Fengjian smiled and said, “Good observation.”
Song Chuzhao: “No, it’s not an observation, I was just saying it casually.”
After a while, she pulled on Gu Fengjian’s sleeve and said, “Look, on that street ahead, there are so many paths to take, but people just like to walk on the one that’s been worn down.”
Gu Fengjian: “Right.”
Song Chuzhao continued, “Think about it, people in the world, they have things they want to do, but as soon as someone says something, they don’t dare to do it anymore. It’s the same thing, but if different people do it, they get different evaluations.”
Gu Fengjian patiently responded to her a few times.
Song Chuzhao: “Just like the few things I said just now, if someone else said them, like the Emperor, they might even be recorded in history.”
Gu Fengjian: “…” What?
Song Chuzhao rambled on, then chuckled to herself.
Gu Fengjian: “What are you trying to say?”
“I’m not trying to say anything.” Song Chuzhao said, “I just think, no matter how you say it, some things make sense, and no matter how you explain it, some logic has meaning. But the real logic, it’s already in my heart. What kind of person I am, what I see, I already feel like it should be a certain logic, don’t you think?”
Gu Fengjian found her words a bit convoluted, but after pondering them, he nodded and agreed.
Song Chuzhao rested her chin on her hand and said, “But these grand principles… they’re useless! Do I care if the leaves grew from the same tree? Do I care where they want to go? Do I care what others think?”
Gu Fengjian was taken aback, seemingly not expecting this. Then he nodded in agreement and said, “When you put it that way, it’s true… it’s useless.”
Song Chuzhao nodded seriously, “My mother said, ‘People’s words are terrifying.’ But how much of those people’s words are just these useless grand principles? If I listen to them, there’s no benefit, it just makes me sad. If I don’t listen to them, they can’t do anything to me. Right?”
Gu Fengjian asked, “So you were thinking about this?”
Song Chuzhao nodded, “Yeah. If I’m not afraid of what others say, then it’s no big deal.”
She was still raised on the border, still raised by General Song for over a decade, and still called Song Chuzhao.
Even if outsiders knew about her relationship with General Song, it wouldn’t affect her if General Song didn’t care.
Her past was immutable.
Gu Fengjian watched her, her eyes bright, her spirit vowing to rival the sun and moon, and he laughed.
Song Chuzhao felt baffled. She picked up Gu Fengjian’s umbrella and said, “Let’s go, we’re going home.”
Gu Fengjian rose with her.
They walked side by side down the street.
On the way back to the Song Mansion, they had to pass through a section of the marketplace. It was past noon, and the area was still bustling with activity, the cries of vendors rising and falling.
Song Chuzhao couldn’t help but slow her pace and glance over.
Gu Fengjian noticed her gaze and said with a smile, “Let’s go have a look.”
Song Chuzhao turned her head, “Aren’t you busy?”
“Not busy,” Gu Fengjian said, “Don’t you know if I’m busy or not?”
Song Chuzhao thought for a moment, and it seemed he wasn’t busy. They were both considered idle people now. She readily agreed and turned towards the marketplace with Gu Fengjian.
Gu Fengjian asked, “Are there few marketplaces like this on the frontier?”
Song Chuzhao nodded.
The frontier was desolate, with few shops or streets, far less prosperous than the capital. Although there was some peace now, most people were self-sufficient, and there were few merchants doing business on a daily basis. Even fewer performed arts like miscellaneous plays. Only occasionally would a troupe pass through and stay in town for two days to perform.
Every few days, there would be a lively market or temple fair in the nearby town. At that time, the city would be more crowded, and all sorts of novel tricks would be brought in. Song Chuzhao loved to go.
“Every holiday, my father and mother have to entertain guests at the military camp, leaving me alone at home. I would take my money and go out to play by myself. The street vendors would see me and ask, ‘Little one, where are your parents? Do you have any money on you?’ Some people, seeing my young age, wouldn’t sell me anything. Some were kind and would just give me things. Others, thinking to cheat me out of my money.”
Song Chuzhao chuckled with pride, “But I’m smart, I’ve never been cheated.”
Gu Fengjian played along, “You’re truly amazing.”
Song Chuzhao said, “Thank you for playing with me. When I was little, I saw other people’s parents following behind them, paying for everything they wanted, and I envied them.”
Gu Fengjian paused and said, “But I don’t want to be your father.”
Song Chuzhao jumped up and down, “You wish! I don’t consider you my father either!”
Gu Fengjian laughed, “If you call me Fifth Brother, Fifth Brother will take you out to play again.”
Song Chuzhao said, “I’d rather not! I have my own money!”
“You’re younger than me, and I’m taking you out to the marketplace. It’s only right for you to call me Fifth Brother.” Gu Fengjian said persuasively, “Didn’t you call Fourth Brother ‘Fourth Brother’?”
Song Chuzhao thought about it and it seemed reasonable, so she casually called out, “Fifth Brother Gu.”
Gu Fengjian nodded in response, “Yes.”
Song Chuzhao smiled, “Then will you buy me things to eat? Anything I want, you buy it.”
Gu Fengjian generously said, “Feel free to look around.”
Song Chuzhao had only wanted Gu Fengjian to buy her some food, but he took her around and bought her everything she liked.
Song Chuzhao initially found some trinkets novel. They weren’t expensive, and she had never seen them before, so she didn’t refuse out of curiosity.
Later, Gu Fengjian didn’t wait for her to speak, he simply followed her gaze. If he thought she liked something, he would buy it for her. If he thought something looked good, he would buy it for Song Chuzhao.
Song Chuzhao was startled and quickly refused, “No need! I don’t like it that much!”
Gu Fengjian said, “So you do like it a little?”
Song Chuzhao said, “Do you have to buy things you like a little and bring them home?”
Gu Fengjian laughed and said, “There’s no way around it, that’s the Gu family’s way. If I want something, I just say it, and the next day my family will send it to my room. Since you call me Fifth Brother, you’re naturally someone I need to take care of. Whatever you like, I’ll buy it.”
Song Chuzhao shook her head in fear, “Then I really dare not call you Fifth Brother! How can you be so indulgent? Don’t the children of your Gu family ever go bad?”
Gu Fengjian said, “The worst they’ll become is like me.” He was the most pampered in the Gu family, wasn’t he?
Song Chuzhao said, “But the children of my Song family are different from you!” She, Song Chuzhao, believed in growing up wild!
Seeing her expression, Gu Fengjian was amused and said, “I should make you panic a little, so you won’t think about unpleasant things again.”
“I’m not!” Song Chuzhao was still holding his umbrella, “I’m not unhappy anymore! Fifth Brother Gu, don’t be impulsive!”
Gu Fengjian lifted his chin slightly, signaling the shopkeeper to go inside and get the things.
The shopkeeper had already reached the entrance and was about to lift the curtain to enter the inner courtyard. Seeing how amusing the two of them were, he turned back and said jokingly, “Miss, I’ll give you a piece of advice. It’s the most common impulse for a man to want to buy things for the woman he likes. If you don’t let him buy, he won’t be happy. He’s just looking for an excuse. It’s clear that you usually don’t like to accept gifts from this young master, so he wants to give you everything at once. Just accept them, and he’ll stop.”
Song Chuzhao was speechless, “Do you people in business always talk so recklessly?”
The shopkeeper couldn’t help but laugh and bowed to her, “You two are a perfect match, a talented young man and a beautiful woman. It’s a good thing that you’re about to get married, so why worry about these little things? I’ll offer my congratulations in advance, and consider myself lucky to share in your joy. I’ll sell everything to you at a discount today. You’re so beautiful, even the most expensive gifts are worth accepting.”
Gu Fengjian’s expression brightened at these words.
Song Chuzhao said, “If you spend so much money, Madam Gu won’t say anything, but my mother will scold me.”
“It’s not me who’s giving it to you,” Gu Fengjian said, “Do you know my senior sister sent me a box a while ago?”
“What does that have to do with me?” Song Chuzhao exclaimed, “Did she send you a box of yellow talismans?”
Gu Fengjian said, “She said she had been in a hurry to come back and didn’t have time to prepare anything, so she sent a box of things over. She said it was to celebrate our marriage. She didn’t know what you liked, so she asked me to use the things in the box to buy some gifts for you. It’s her way of giving me a dowry as a senior sister. I was worried about where to use it, but luckily I came out with you today.”
“It really is yellow talismans?!” Song Chuzhao grabbed Gu Fengjian, “Fifth Brother Gu, don’t even think about becoming a fortune teller! No one will believe you if you sell yellow talismans! People say… people say things can be really scary!”
Gu Fengjian said calmly, “It’s a box of gold.”
Song Chuzhao: “…” Okay, she understood.
Gu Fengjian laughed and said, “My senior sister really cares about you. She likes you a lot.”
Song Chuzhao thought to herself, she… she really felt sorry for the senior sister. How could she be so generous?!
After being hit by that box of gold, how could Song Chuzhao still think about things at home?
As she walked along, she kept thinking about how rich she was. Fifth Brother Gu was also really rich.
Gu Fengjian walked her to the entrance of the Song mansion. Before she went in, he took out a wooden box from his pocket and handed it to her, saying, “The previous things were from my senior sister. This is from me.”
Song Chuzhao was tired and couldn’t even muster the energy to be surprised, “Why do you always give me things?”
“Didn’t you hear what the shopkeeper said?” Gu Fengjian lowered his head and put the box in her hand, “Of course it’s because I like to give them. It’s a common impulse.”