Gu Fengjian stood with his head bowed, Duke Gu staring at him unblinkingly.
The study was deathly quiet, only the soft rise and fall of breaths breaking the silence. The father and son stood there for a long time, neither speaking.
Gu Fengjian: “…“carpreads.pages.dev
If Song Chuzhao hadn’t told him that Duke Gu “felt deep remorse but was simply not good with words,” he would have already turned and left.
What was this? Was he being made to stand here as punishment?
Time slipped away quietly. Duke Gu seemed to realize his own lapse in decorum, coughed forcefully, and then bent down to pretend to examine the stack of official documents on the table.
Gu Fengjian raised his head, waiting for the other man to speak again. But Duke Gu fell silent once more, as if the cough had been nothing more than a momentary tickle in his throat.
Gu Fengjian: “…”
He really was going to leave.
Just as Gu Fengjian’s feet began to stir, Duke Gu paused, then let go of his hands and sat up straight again. His expression was one of righteous solemnity, as if nothing had happened, as if he had just noticed his son standing before him.
Duke Gu gestured towards a seat beside him: “Hmm, sit, sit here.”
Gu Fengjian: “…” What a character.
Gu Fengjian wanted to know what Duke Gu was up to. He adjusted his robe and sat down in the seat beside him.
Duke Gu watched him, his lips pressed together, his expression stern. He opened his mouth, then closed it again, unable to speak.
Earlier, Gu Fengjian’s attitude towards him had softened considerably. He had spoken to him with warmth, even occasionally smiling. During that time, Duke Gu had been overjoyed, almost unable to believe it. When he had spoken to his wife about it that night, he had been deeply moved.
But today, Fifth Son had become cold and hard again. His gaze, his movements, brought back the fear of months ago.
Duke Gu didn’t know what he had done wrong. His heart was filled with anxiety and unease.
Gu Fengjian waited a moment longer, then finally, unable to bear it any longer, asked: “Father, what is it you wanted to see me about?”
Duke Gu had to find something to say. His gaze swept across the table, then he pressed down on a book, saying: “The Imperial Censor asked me to pass this document on to you. Take a look at it.”
Duke Gu’s expression was extremely gloomy, his brows furrowed tightly, like a dark cloud hanging overhead. His tone was stiff and unyielding, no different from what Gu Fengjian remembered.
He couldn’t imagine what such an expression could mean besides “disappointment” and “resistance.”
Gu Fengjian, suppressing his discomfort, reached out and took the book, flipping through it.
The book contained a record of a case. The names of the individuals involved had been obscured, perhaps they were real, perhaps they were fabricated. The Imperial Censor had provided a brief description of the case, followed by a question: how should it be handled?
This must be a test of his abilities. The content was also related to the daily affairs of the Imperial Censorate.
Duke Gu kept glancing at him from the corner of his eye. He noticed that his son’s face was visibly darkening, his entire being trembling.
What had happened?!
What had he done wrong!!
Gu Fengjian closed the book and asked: “Father, what is the meaning of this?”
Duke Gu’s face was taut: “You can decide for yourself. I won’t force you.”
It sounded as if he wasn’t very enthusiastic about it.
Gu Fengjian was now deeply conflicted. Because of Song Chuzhao’s assurance, two completely different perspectives were clashing in his mind, making it impossible for him to accurately judge Duke Gu. His reason was also being pulled in different directions, eventually coalescing into a single, resounding “What the hell?” that echoed in his mind.
Gu Fengjian swallowed the words that were about to escape his lips, closed the book, and handed it back, saying, “I’ll have a private chat with the Imperial Censor myself.”
As he extended his hand, his sleeve slipped down, revealing his hand and a portion of his wrist—and the obvious red marks on them.
Duke Gu, who had previously been hesitant to look at him directly, now scrutinized him closely. Upon seeing the injury, his eyes turned red, and he stood up. “What happened to your hand? Did you fight someone?”
The scratches on Gu Fengjian’s hand were from his journey through the forest. He had taken a shortcut, pushing through the dry branches, and injured himself. He hadn’t brought a sword with him, and the dry grass and branches were thick and overgrown. He was in a hurry and didn’t think twice, using his hand to push them aside. That’s how it happened.
The injuries were not noticeable when his hand was covered in dirt. It was only after he washed it that he realized the red marks were scattered and dense, looking somewhat frightening. Especially now, the color of the wounds had deepened, making them even more prominent.
It didn’t actually hurt much.
Duke Gu grabbed his wrist and shouted to the outside, “Steward Liu! Bring two bottles of wound medicine!”
Gu Fengjian tried to pull his hand back, saying, “It’s nothing. I’ve already applied medicine.”
Duke Gu held on tightly, his eyes fierce as he stared at him, his entire body radiating a murderous aura. “What’s going on? How did you get hurt like this? You always cherish your hands, how could you let yourself get injured!”
Gu Fengjian took a deep breath and said, “I told you, it’s nothing. I got hurt because I was in a hurry.”
Duke Gu asked, “Where did you go today? Who did you see? Why did you go to a dangerous place for no reason? Did someone force you?”
Gu Fengjian’s voice grew heavier. “I told you, it was me! If it was a fight, the injury wouldn’t look like this!”
Gu Fengjian pulled back forcefully. Duke Gu, fearing he might hurt him, quickly released his grip. With Gu Fengjian’s sudden movement, his sleeve flew up, revealing a small pouch of yellow talismans tucked inside.
Both their gazes shifted to the pouch.
Duke Gu recognized the yellow talisman and his already dark complexion turned deathly pale. He swayed slightly, as if unable to accept it, then erupted like a storm, his anger boiling over. He roared, “Who! Who gave you this! What did that person tell you! What are their intentions! Who is it!”
Madam Gu was worried that their conversation would escalate into an argument. After all, Duke Gu’s temper was notoriously difficult. The rift between them had not yet fully healed, and she didn’t want to add any new misunderstandings.
She carried a tray of pastries and deliberately went to deliver them at this moment, hoping to find an excuse to stay and mediate the situation. However, as she reached the corridor, she heard Duke Gu’s furious roar.
Madam Gu immediately sensed something was wrong. She shoved the pastries into the arms of a nearby servant and rushed over.
Sure enough, as soon as she entered, she saw Gu Fengjian with his neck stiff, clenching his fists, trying to suppress his emotions.
Madam Gu, without hesitation, pushed Duke Gu aside and scolded him, “Why are you yelling at him? You’re scaring Fifth Son! Can’t you talk properly? Why do you have to be so aggressive?”
Duke Gu, reminded by her words, relaxed his facial muscles slightly, but his expression remained unpleasant.
He…
Madam Gu glanced to the side and saw the yellow talisman on the ground. She exclaimed, “Goodness!”
She took a step back from the talisman and put her arms around Gu Fengjian’s shoulders, saying anxiously, “My son, my Fifth Son, these things are not to be trusted. You must not believe them! Those practitioners of the occult are only interested in making money. They don’t speak a single word of truth!”
Gu Fengjian said, “I only went to Mount Shaoling today.”
Duke Gu, unaware that his angry expression was particularly ferocious, questioned him in a similar tone.
“Who gave you this?”
Gu Fengjian replied, “My senior sister gave it to me.”
“Your senior sister?” Duke Gu was furious. “Why is she still looking for you?”
Gu Fengjian turned his head and asked, “Why can’t she look for me?”
Madam Gu quickly seized the opportunity to change the subject, explaining, “Your father wasn’t trying to reprimand you. He was concerned about you, afraid you might be overthinking things. But Lieshui shouldn’t have sent you these things, knowing your past. She’s your senior sister, and she should understand that you hate Fu Donglai and despise ghost lore and the occult. Did she say anything to you?”
Duke Gu knew he was damned if he did and damned if he didn’t, so he simply shut his mouth. He pressed his forehead in frustration, turned away, and stood facing the wall.
The yellow talisman had given him a terrible shock. He was terrified that Gu Fengjian still remembered Fu Donglai’s divination from that time and believed it to be true. He was even more afraid that someone would mention the past to Gu Fengjian, tempting him to join the Daoist sect.
He was already so heartbroken. If Fifth Son heard those vicious rumors firsthand, how could he bear it? He couldn’t stand it.
Gu Fengjian glanced at his father’s back, seeing a slump and a trembling in his father’s stooped shoulders, a sign of dejection. His tone softened as he explained, “My senior sister just didn’t have anything else suitable with her, so she gave me this to sell. She doesn’t like Fu Donglai either, or Daoists.”
“What?” Madam Gu asked, confused. “Sell it?”
Gu Fengjian nodded. “My senior sister gave Third Girl Song a whole bunch, and she gave me one too. She said someone in the capital was paying a lot of money for them. Even if I can’t sell it, it’s good to have it for peace of mind. It’s her way of showing her care.”
Madam Gu looked at the yellow talisman on the floor again, her emotions becoming complex.
Gu Fengjian stepped forward, picked up the talisman, brushed off the dust, and put it back in place.
Gu Fengjian explained further, “I got this cut on my hand today on the mountain. The County Princess and Third Girl Song accidentally fell into a pit, and my senior sister and I went to find them. We took a shortcut to save time. There are a lot of dead trees and thorns on Mount Shaoling. I wasn’t paying attention, and that’s how I got this.”
After he finished speaking, all three of them fell silent.
Duke Gu was still facing the wall, his expression hidden. All they could hear was the muffled sound of him sniffing back tears.
Madam Gu didn’t know what to say.
The deeper the love, the harder it is to remain calm.
Gu Fengjian raised his hand in a bow and said goodbye, “If there’s nothing else, I’ll be going.”
“Fifth Son!”
Duke Gu suddenly roared, then turned around.
Gu Fengjian was caught off guard by a pair of eyes filled with tears.
Duke Gu strode towards him, embraced him, and said, “Fifth Son, Father isn’t trying to be harsh with you. Father is just afraid that you’ll be bullied. I’m not angry at you, I’m angry at others, at myself!”
Madam Gu nodded vigorously from the side.
Gu Fengjian was held in his father’s arms, his body stiff, unable to move. Only his eyelashes fluttered rapidly.
Duke Gu said, “Why am I so bad at talking? I wanted to be gentle with you, to calmly ask you why you were upset today, but I just don’t know where to start. As soon as I saw that yellow talisman, I was afraid you would remember Fu Donglai, and my heart was filled with fear and urgency, so I lost my composure. You have to believe that Father will protect you. No matter what happens, no matter what changes, I will protect you. Even if Fu Donglai is still alive and comes up with more fantastical things, I will never hand you over to him again!”
Madam Gu chimed in, “Your father is like this outside. He’s cold on the outside but warm on the inside. Go ask Fourth Son. He understands him best!”
Duke Gu held him, his arm muscles trembling.
Gu Fengjian leaned against him tightly, feeling that his father’s embrace was wider and warmer than Song Chuzhao’s. It was just different from the memory of his father’s unbreakable strength. Now, Duke Gu’s strength was tinged with an undeniable fear.
That fear, that weakness, was because of him.
…Oh, no, when Song Chuzhao held him, she was using his body.
But every word she said was true.
Gu Fengjian raised his arm and lightly placed it on Duke Gu’s back.
The other man held him even tighter.
Duke Gu’s voice was hoarse. “I am your father! How can I make you understand that I am your father, that I want to be a good father, that I will not be as incompetent as I was before?”
Fifth Son Gu said soothingly, “I know.”
Duke Gu said, “You don’t know! You only know how to keep things from me! You suffer in silence! You never tell me when you misunderstand me! You simply don’t know! You resent me, your father, in your heart! You even disdain to speak to me!”
Gu Fengjian: “…” This was… undeniable.
Gu Fengjian, in truth, had always understood. Given the circumstances of that time, even he might not have done any better. But there was a slight contradiction between understanding and self-interest. Just a little.
That bit of resentment would vanish if Duke Gu simply said sorry to him.
Or rather…
Gu Fengjian: “I actually never blamed you.” I just wished you would be nice to me again.
“And I don’t resent you.” I just didn’t want to lose these affections, so I deliberately became indifferent.
Duke Gu was both sorrowful and self-reproachful, always finding reasons to criticize himself. “Why is that? Why am I such an irresponsible father? I just can’t figure out what you’re thinking.”
Gu Fengjian: “I…”
Fortunately, at that moment, the steward rushed over with a bottle of wound medicine, saving Gu Fengjian’s life.
Duke Gu finally let go of him, but he still looked at him with a gaze that Gu Fengjian couldn’t resist.
Gu Fengjian said earnestly, “I really know. From now on… if I have anything, I’ll tell you.”
Duke Gu clearly didn’t believe him.
A similar facade had appeared once before, but it was just a facade. It wouldn’t be long before he reverted to his old ways, just like today.
His Fifth Son was so fickle.
Gu Fengjian: “…” But that wasn’t really me.
Madam Gu suggested, “Your hand is so badly injured, let your father put some medicine on it first.”
Duke Gu’s expression changed abruptly. He shifted between surprise and indifference, revealing the struggle within him.
Gu Fengjian glanced at his hand, which had actually already scabbed over.
…Fine, whatever.
With great selflessness, he rolled up his sleeve and offered his hand to Duke Gu, allowing him to express his paternal love.
Author’s Note:
Duke Gu: Wait for me, wait for me to gather my thoughts!